I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
