You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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