i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
