he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
