she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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