forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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