Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize