I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
