Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize