I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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