I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
