yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
