I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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