I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
