my phone needs a breathalizer
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
