Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
