and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
