I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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