im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
