Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
