Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
