My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
