I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude i'm inner monologue high
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
