the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
