I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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