did you get engaged???
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
