there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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