did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize