Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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