There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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