We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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