I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Randomize