U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize