your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
