Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
