This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
