Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
