NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
