Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
