The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
