we have pet lesbian snakes
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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