Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
