Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
