my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
