what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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