So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
