I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
