yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
