Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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