yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize