Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
