Where did you get a picture of my penis
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I would ride that face into the sunset
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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