are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
