I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize