and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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