I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Come on in and take your pants off
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