i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is Oprah even human
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
