I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize