I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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