We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
